Remember back in June when I was blogging about that 'mass audition' that I went to? It was the one where I had two minutes to 'show my stuff' in front of a room full of directors/producers/theatre owners (and God only knows who else) and hope for the best? Well, since that audition I'm having very mixed emotions about whether or not I should have done it.
My biggest reason for attending the audition was because I'd never done it before, and the thought of doing it COMPLETELY terrified me. Because I was feeling that way, it became something that I wanted to do in order to prove to myself that I could do it. Well, I did it and now I'm faced with a whole new set of 'issues'.
In order to make this as brief as possible, I'll try to sum it up as best as I can...without sounding like Cocky McFull-Of-Myself.
Since my audition in June, I've received a bunch of emails/calls from people who saw my audition and are interested in having me come in to audition for a number of different projects.
Some of them I've been very interested in, and others - not so much.
A couple of the calls got me really excited, but then reality set in and I realized that with everything that's going on right now in my life, there's no way I can commit to doing anything theatre related.
That's the big issue that I'm dealing with on (what feels like) a weekly basis, and it's stressing me out.
My goal was to make it through the audition, feel good about how I did, and be able to check it off my 'list'. However, I didn't really think it through, and now I'm left to deal with the.....consequences. Damn it all.
So, once again I find myself trying to come up with the best way to say "I'm unavailable" without saying "I'm a complete idiot and should never have made you think I was available in the first place." so I can avoid 'blacklisting' myself from any future opportunities with these theatres (assuming there are any).
I suppose it's better that I'm sorting through all of this now, as opposed to actually following through and having to back out later in the process, but the whole thing has made me a little bit sad and I wished I'd planned things a little better.
Of course, I have NO regrets about what's going on in my life right now and I'm happier than ever these days (other than my job, of course) - I just wish I could do everything. :-)
Happy Friday everyone....have a GREAT weekend!!!!
PS - 4 years ago today, our parakeet, Junior passed away...I usually mention it every year, so I'd feel terribly if I neglected to this year. He was a great little bird and was so much fun to have around the house. He's the pretty blue one on the left. Buddy is the green one....his 'memorial tribute' will be next month. It was bad couple of months for parakeets back in 2007 ;-)