Confession Time...

Before you get your hopes up, there's nothing juicy about to be revealed in this post.  I just figured that it's been so damn long since I came up with an entry that I'd better have a juicy title to grab your attention and keep you reading.  :-)

It's no secret that I haven't been blogging at all recently.  I haven't even been all that active on Facebook, Twitter, or any of the other things that used to keep me entertained way back when. 
I know that a lot of you have been reading me for a long time and were around in the days when I was blogging much more frequently so I'm sure you've noticed a steady decline in my social media activity.
Yes, it happens to everyone now and then, so I guess it's just my 'turn'?

Truth be told, I've been in a real yucky place lately.  It has nothing to do with Jim, Zachary, or my home life.  Everything is great as far as they're concerned, but unfortunately, they're affected by everything else that's been going on.

As many of you know (and those of you who don't, soon will) my job has been really getting me down for quite a while now.  Well, things haven't improved, and they're even getting worse.  It so difficult for me to put into words, but let it be said that I'm really not happy with my current situation, and while I continue to try to make changes and look for other options, I've been having a pretty tough time.  
I've been going through a whole lot of emotional 'stuff' as a result of my day to day work and at times I feel like I'm completely losing it.  (That's where the 'affecting the family' part comes into play.)  Poor Jim has had to deal with me being an emotional wreck so often lately that I'm beginning to feel guilty about being miserable.
Make sense??

The best way to describe it is that I feel completely trapped in my work situation.  I'm completely overwhelmed by everything I have to deal with at work, and there's no way I can get out of there until I'm able to find something that will pay the bills, provide us with benefits, etc...etc...etc...  It's extremely overwhelming at times (most of the time?) and I tend to get myself very worked up about it.  It's constantly on my mind, and I know that I'm not the same person I was before all this started really getting to me.

Don't worry...this isn't some cry for help and I'm not about to do something crazy....I'm not THAT bad off. However, it's been a really rough road the past few months (years?), and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is sometimes really, REALLY difficult. 
I know that I have plenty of friends and family who are always there for me to lend an encouraging word, and above all else, I know I have Jim and Zachary to greet me at the door each night when I come home.  Truth be told, I've been getting a little teary (OK, a lot teary) each night when I come home because my days have been so much for me to deal with.

I'm planning to have a chat with my manager tomorrow in hopes that he can offer some advice/assistance/help so that I'm not feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and completely stressed about my job.  Hopefully that will make me feel better.

Thank you all for listening/reading....I look forward to getting back on the happy train soon and picking up where the 'old John' left off.....

xoxo